How To Create An Evening Routine

Having a routine around bedtime helps my mind tell my body it’s time for rest. By creating a habit of tasks around bedtime, I can shorten the amount of time it takes to fall asleep – and get more restful sleep during the night.

The main benefit of an evening routine for me was to combat my lifelong battle with insomnia without resorting to pharmaceutical drugs. When I created my routine, I looked for tasks that helped me relax, to start resting my mind and body before bed.

Just like morning routines, no two evening routines will be the same. This outline is a rough one, and its point is specifically to celebrate lazy. Too many people feel compelled to be busy for busy’s sake. You may even experience feelings of guilt for unplugging, chilling with loved ones, and not giving a fuck about the great big world outside your front door. Please — dump busy and dump the shame of relaxation. Not busy is okay and utterly natural. Night classes and dinner with friends are approved. Spontaneity and adventure is 100% fantastic. But for those restless evenings when you can’t shut out work, obligations, social media, or the myriad of other distractions, a consistent bedtime routine is invaluable.

Think about little tasks you can do routinely to help you wind down.

Do you like to read? Do you love the smell of candles or essential oils? Are you a hot tea drinker? Is there a hobby that centres your mind?

Create your evening routine around tasks that will make your mornings easier or will start to relax your mind and body. Let’s begin where the day ends. This is a rough idea of what I do daily at my home in Los Angeles. When in the UK (or elsewhere in Europe), I easily can add an extra two to three hours to the timeline:

Delineate work time and home time, or if you prefer, public you and private you. Do not compromise.

At 6 p.m. every evening, I’m done. I even begin wrapping things up at 5. I will bookmark research, resources, and other inspo, and put it in the correct folder. I clean out inboxes, write whatever, and text whomever if I already haven’t that day. That way I am not rushed at 6, and I don’t feel as if I’m leaving work or any other plans unfinished. At 6, no more social media for work, no more emails. On this, I am firm. At first, I was convinced a million exceptions would constantly be made, but besides a few transatlantic conversations, and one or two domestic last-minute work issues, this rule has stuck and is comfortingly reliable.

Allow yourself to unwind. Eat early for more ‘you’ time.

I still allow myself my personal social media apps (Tumblr, IG, and Pinterest) and any phone calls that may be a soothing experience (loved ones), but work is over. I’ve punched out. This is also when I prefer to eat dinner, so now’s the time for meal prep or restaurant time. If I’m cooking at home I shed the day’s clothes, wash my face, and put on what I call ‘comfy clothes.’ I used to call them ‘slobbies’ but found that I began to treat them like ‘slobbies’ — letting them become stained and in disrepair. As soon as I changed the label, the way I treated my clothing and myself changed, and I started to treat my relaxation time with equal regard to any other part of my day.

Take your time wasting time.

After dinner, on an average night, this is when I curl up on the couch with my daughter and watch a film with my daughter. Other times we read or listen to a podcast/radio drama. Now I usually have a glass of wine, or tea, or golden milk. I like to turn off the lights and burn a candle. If I’m in the mood, I sometimes do a face mask. Or if dinner is early or light, we sometimes have popcorn or the like.

Finish up your evening tasks, consider preparing for tomorrow.

About two hours before bed:

Consider your upcoming day. While I can appreciate your resourcefulness at handling whatever the day throws your way, the habit of confidently confronting the next day’s plans alleviates the “Night Before” anxiety, and with practice saves your mind, body, and spirit. Get into the habit of evaluating your upcoming day without remorse. Manage your expectations in a realistic manner. This usually requires dropping at least one thing you were hoping to accomplish. Practice this task with complete confidence. After all, you are the CEO of You, Inc. and if it’s necessary to reschedule or cancel someone or something, it’s worth it for your overall peace of mind. You will also have more time to concentrate on your indispensable tasks.

Now, will your morning be tightly scheduled or loosey-goosey? If you have more than two or three things going on, right them in your planner, or schedule them in your phone. Do you need to plan meals by reviewing Pinterest? Now’s the time. Need to plan a video, meditation, yoga, or podcast for before sleep? Get on it. Then stop exploring about two hours before you want your head to touch the pillow. This helps your mind stop racing and allows you to zen-out with the rest of your bedtime tasks. For example, you may need to load up the slow cooker, do the dinner dishes, plan an outfit, or pack a gym bag. Do these things now. I like a peaceful playlist in the background whilst completing these tasks.

Leisurely indulge in bedtime preparation.

About an hour before bed:

I turn on the vaporiser in the bedroom and add lavender oil. The nights in LA can be so dry that it hurts the sinuses, and the lavender sets the mood for sleep. Sometimes I sprinkle perfumed powder on my sheets. I put my phone on to charge in the bedroom (yes, the bedroom, because I have self-control and want it close by in case of emergency) and shut it in the drawer. If I feel stiff or unsettled, I practice kundalini yoga in the evening, before my shower. It’s a restorative, slow, and deliberate variation of yoga that focuses on opening and deep meditation. In short, it really helps you unwind from the day. I also love tidying up for a few minutes before heading to bed. When things are in order and in place, it makes me feel like I can start the day with a fresh, clear mind. It helps to know where things are when you’re trying to rush out the door in the morning.

Take an evening shower or bath. Institute a skincare regimen.

I shower and use my Clarisonic every-other night. I also tone and moisturise, but at night I use a lighter moisturiser — no need for most of my product to end up on the pillowcase. Plus, I like my skin to breathe overnight. Comfortable beautiful sleepwear is so important. You go to bed feeling romantic, even without a lover.

Go to bed way before you’re tired. Bed is for more than sleep.

If you sleep with a lover (or a child), it is restorative to go to bed an hour earlier (or later) than the person with whom you share your bed. Time alone, meditative and reflective, focused solely on yourself can really improve your sleep quality and quantity. It also replenishes so you can give back the next day, and still keep a little something for yourself.

I read to my daughter and tuck her in. Then I read or watch/listen to something. Sometimes I journal. “Journal’ is a broad and buzz-wordy concept, so I hope to sing the praises of the many methods and rewards of journaling in a future article. I like to pray, or meditate.

I also love a Dramatique™ bedroom ambience, which can mean candles, tonnes of pillows of varying sizes, and different textured blankets.

Oh, and don’t forget a glass of water!

Nighty-Night

The TV in my bedroom is in my closet, so when I choose, I can open or close the door on its screen I like to fall asleep to TV, setting the timer on the set. I use the apps on my blue ray to watch or listen to many stories, meditations, etc. from YouTube. I also fall asleep to programmes, as well. Recently, Ancient Aliens on Amazon Prime has become a pleasant diversion.

Lights out.